the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
