perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Randomize
