We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
