This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
