Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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