Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
