Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
