Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize