Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
