Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
