that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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