we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
