I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
