My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize
