Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
