Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
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