you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
