we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
