I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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