You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
