Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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