i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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