So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
