i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize