I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
