some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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