Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
