Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The power of my boobs compel you
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
