Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
