Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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