There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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