yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
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