my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
