Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize