you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
