Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
