thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
