I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
