HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Dear god my vagina.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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