I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize