I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize
