I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
