FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
