That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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