brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You can't motorboat a personality
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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