I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
