dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize