I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
