Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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