I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
