pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
