I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
