I heard we made out
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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