so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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