who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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