She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
