i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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