So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
