you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
